Pussy! I never knew what I was missing! Before I knew it existed I never thought about it but now its all I can think about. I spend my entire day just thinking of Pussy. Some people would say it was a curse, that if I had never discovered it I would be thinking of 'more important things', but fuck them, what do they know?! They've obviously never tried Pussy. In fact I love the taste of this fantastic energy drink so much its the reason I get up in the morning and it keeps me awake and active late into the night. Whoever thought of putting Pussy in a can deserves a hand shake from me.
Today I had some Pussy at work, on the Tube and even grabbed myself some Pussy on the walk home. In fact it inspired me to try and invent a new kind of magnet that attracts aluminium cans and when I succeed I'm going to name my creation after the very product that inspired it. Clearly though, Pussy isn't new! I was watching some Bill Hicks the other night when I noticed his Pussy speech... Don't worry Bill, from what I hear most people are addicted to it too.
And the best thing about it is that every can seems to taste different! So go out and grab yourself some Pussy as quickly as you can! I promise you won't regret it and the next time I see you on the train and you look tired I'm going to ask ... hey buddy, when's the last time you had some Pussy?
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