My housemate was one day sat in a pub alone gently sipping his cool pint when suddenly out of the corner of his eye he spied something... A beautiful creature was stood staring at him. He approached with caution but soon realised, this was no ordinary beast, but rather a stuffed concoction of several....
We shall call it ... THE RABBIT BEAST
He quickly fell in love with the stuffed Rabbit/Pheasant/Deer thing but to his horror discovered that dasterdly forces were at work... The owner of the establishment was planning to throw this beast out ... My housemate acted swiftly, cut a deal with the landlord and saved the creature... Bernard... as he was later known soon found pride of place on top of my housemates wardrobe... Oh how we didn't play with him or do anything but say... what the fuck is that thing? All the same we loved Bernard...
Then one day he caught a terrible moth infection... scared for the loss of our clothes we banished Bernard to the shed where he would spend the rest of his illness. Well one night we were sound asleep when we were awoken to the terrible shrieks and cries of pain and anger... we calmed ourselves, safe in the knowledge that it was the usual two foxes fighting...
The next morning it was clear that something horrendous had happened... We entered the back yard to find signs of a struggle... there was a trail of fluff and fur everywhere...
We ran to the shed to see if poor Bernard was there... but our fears were realised... he was gone... it was clear poor Bernard had been the victim of a heinous crime... a fox had viciously raped THE RABBIT BEAST and dragged him off into the night... we searched and after several seconds, possibly 30, and after we found him, left for dead in the ditch at the end of our garden... A huge bite had been taken out of the side of him, yet there was no blood (a symptom of being previously dead I believe)
All was clear, however one question remained...
WHAT THE FUCK DID THE SICK BASTARD DO WITH BERNARDS HEAD?
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