Britain - The Unfunny Lonely Island

Last week, in a move described by the omnipotent Boris Johnson as 'a blinder', David Cameron shocked the continent by walking away without signing the treaty aimed at saving the Euro. It was a turn of events that encouraged the ever tactful French Premiere to brand Cameron 'an obstinate kid', Nick Clegg, the man with the second most impressive job title in Parliament (I was going to say second most powerful job.... but that's just not true), fears Britain is in danger of being isolated and Boris Johnson got air time for something other than hiring bikes and tube strikes...

Before I begin it was nice to see Nick Clegg avoiding taking the Phil Neal approach to politics (that cultural snippet for those who don't know is a reference to the man described by some as turnip head and being declared Graham Taylor's, the England Managers, Yes Man). It was a moment that we waited for, the moment he found some balls and stopped being a Tory in disguise...  I mean it's over now and that's probably the last of it but was it worth the wait... core golly... NO...

Why the fuck was everyone so surprised? Cameron had been going on about 'if it's not in the interest of the city of London I won't sign it'... blah blah blah... we all knew it was coming, but we didn't think he had the balls to do it... and then pow.. the 'blinder' was played...

Well I mean it may be the end of Europe and the Euro but who gives a shit? Well me... and a lot of other people... Britain is the new unfunny lonely island, not to be confused with the comedic genius that is the troupe starring Andy Samberg that produced songs like 'Mother Lover' and 'I Just had Sex'.... So we are isolated, lonely and fucked.. that out of 27 nations only one disagreed.. apart from the Czech Republic, 25 left... oh wait Sweden says its not sure.. 24 .. and now Ireland?... Denmark?... In a stunning twist of events it turns out Britain didn't get what it wanted and walked away and 26 other people said yes... in theory... I would like to save the Euro... but not by fucking ourselves over..

It was nice to see that the Germans were confident of the plan not failing and proved that by apparently starting to reprint new Deutschmarks 'just in case'... and we left a party that didn't really want us there anyway... So the fallout... well most of Europe looks like it's going to get a credit downgrade which prompted the Banque de France governor Christian Noyer to say don't look at us... check out Britain... they're even more shit (roughly paraphrased) and the Euro is closer to being viewed like communism - a failed experiment. 

Now we have gone back in to try and propose a new deal to help save the Euro after talking with our new BFFs (Sweden, Czech Rep and Denmark), but really is it any of our business? We have a vested interest... but after rejecting to offer more money to the bailout fund I think we have made our position very clear... It's true that to eat the food you have to sit at the table .. but perhaps we should start looking for other dinner parties to attend who actually want us there... 

So how will it turn out? Fuck knows.. only time will tell... maybe Boris will be proven right or instead the actions, blinded by euro-skepticism, will send Britain into a worse position than before... maybe the Euro will collapse, maybe the EU will fail, maybe it wont and Britain has isolated itself and will be stopped from making any key decisions.. but for now we will just have to wait... and for the minute I think I'd prefer to watch a bit more Andy Samberg than 'oh shock... a politician did what he said for once'  

Written by @roywoodhouse

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