Weekly Wombat (27/08/12)

In the news this week!!!

1) Avril Lavinge and Chad Kroeger are getting married... well maybe this wasn't new this week but I found out about it and therefor new news to me this week... this is abominable... it's like a nightmare that lost parts of my childhood are now getting hitched and potentially going to reproduce. Chad Kroeger, best known for producing drony music that had no soul to it through Nickelback and also an equally souless solo effort for Spiderman 3 is now marrying a girl who sang about men being complicated and boys who prefered to skate, or sk8 as the kids put it these days, over doing something towards a better world. I wish them all the best in their marriage and hope that married life becomes so overwhelming that they forget they once tried to sing. My greatest fear is that now they are potentially breeding we could see children be brought into the world from this union... please god may they not try to sing or come into the public light... The results - well if it was a solo effort it could be along the lines of Peter Andre or Rick Astley and if it was a group... dare I mention Creed?

2) Blizzard, the company behind the life denying World of Warcraft (WOW), has banned all support for the game in Iran. This is due to the sanctions in place by the US and Blizzard also want to 'do their bit'. How are the people of Iran meant to pretend to be orcs and use magic now?! I have no doubt that where all other sanctions have failed to deter the hierarchy of Iran to cease their Nuclear Enrichment program this may strike where they have not. It is indeed a well unknown non-fact that President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is a massive fan of the game and has already been seen suffering the withdrawal symptoms of dressing like a wizard and screaming terms from the Harry Potter series. WOW fans are famous for their violent behavior when denied access to the game so Tehran should soon be expecting several complaints via the internet and possibly on blogs. Get with it Blizzard for fucks sake.

3) And finally ... in India a company in India has released a cream/gel that... 'tightens the vagina to become virginal again' - The tastefully named '18 again' has produced an advert that see's a man a woman dancing and singing about feeling like virgins again. So I suppose that means that it's tighter for him and more painful for her... The best quote was to be found was on the BBC who referenced someone talking about the gel being already available in the USA and it was "merely filling a gap in the market".. please BBC, tell me this was an intentional joke? If not you have one of the worlds finest accidental comedians on your books. This cream is quite frankly a disgrace... it opens women (or closes women) up to a whole new level of abuse. In the grand scheme of things it really damages women's rights and the people who invented it are either misogynistic wankers or just plain pricks (possibly quite small pricks judging by the nature of the cream).... I'm sure that it has it's benefits for people who have gone through traumatic childbirth, but at the end of the day should a woman really feel the need to use this cream cause the man demands or expects it? By implying that women are not perfect it can go towards giving them an inferiority complex and encourages women in particular the desire of men that they marry a virgin... In India and indeed in many other countries such as Turkey a woman's virginity is seen as a prize and prevents many from seeking healthy pre-marital relations... it's fine for a man to have sex, but just not woman...and who says we still live in an unfair world?

Roy Woodhouse - Twitter