Who is the real Che Guevara?

People often ask why this blog is called Citizen Wombat and indeed why a picture of a wombat's face has replaced that of a famous revolutionary in possibly one of the most iconic images of the 20th century...

Many moons ago I produced a twenty minute performance on Ernesto 'Che' Guevara... it was a one man show talking not about the man himself but indeed this image. The image itself was taken by a Cuban man called Alberto Korda who for the record never recieved a single penny in rights, not cause he was robbed, but because he didn't want to - he wanted the world to have a free image of a hero and little did he know what it would become...

So who was Mr Guevara - well the facts are these... he was a cigar smoking, asthmatic Argentine physician. He was an intellectual and scholar as well as a medical student and humanitarian... I have no doubt he was an asshole at times and equally a top bloke.. so with all this knowledge at our fingertips why did someone come and ask me why was I talking about the lead singer of Rage Against the Machine? Is this what our society has come to? That no-one knows who he was? He is a man now more popuraly refered to as 'Che' than his real name (because people don't know it)! Che in itself is slang in the south of Brasil and Argentina for 'friend' and, unlike someone once pointed out that he was called Che because he was a friend to the whole world, he was called this because he used it a lot in every sentence... and people were merely making fun of him. People have forgotten what he truly stood for and now I see this image egreciously replaced with everything from the monkey from "Planet of the Apes" to Ricky Gervais. Ernesto and Korda would turn in their graves.

When Guevara was executed by CIA-assisted forces in Bolivia America feared they had created a martyr... that this mans ideologies would spring up all over America and indeed the world... The image began to circulate the globe and quickly became associated not with Revolution, with Freedom or with Communism - but rather with teenage angst! This mans face has been on posters and t-shirts, wallets and badges of kids and teenagers who have not the slightest fucking idea who he is... I have several times to owners of these posters what they know about the man... and the bad answers have far outwayed the good... whoever killed him in 1968 merely took his body, but the slurge of tacky merchandise that followed has attempted to murder his beliefs and every single thing he stood for...

To every reader that has got this far in this post I welcome your comments. If you already know much of his politics or indeed are curious to learn more (I urge you to buy a book or use wikepedia for starters (it's free)) then I embrace you. When Hitler died the world rejoiced - not only cause a monster had fallen but because when he died people became interested not in his ideologies, but in who he was - in fact one of the best selling books on the 1950's was a Hitler inspired vegetarian cook book with all his favourite recipes... Thank God or Stephen Hawkings for this.... but we did the same to Che... a man who deserved to be heard.

So why a wombat? Apparantly in Austrailia they call a man who sleeps with a lot of women a wombat... simply because in the dictionary it says Wombat - eats roots and leaves. (roots in Australia being adapted as a verb for having sex). This is not my reason. It's simply because I find wombats funny. I sometimes ask if you were in Top Gun what would your call-sign be? I always say Wombat. I replaced the face to commomorate not the loss of the man, but of the loss of everything he was. When Mr Guevara died we changed him from a hope for freedom and expression into a trendy poster. May his beliefs and hopes rest in peace and one day may peace and love embrace world... and may the people who have murdered these ideals one day realise the crime they have commited and repent for their sins by reading and spreading ideals for a better world. Do not fight wars... fight oppression... Kill in-equality, not your brothers and sisters and please try and remember the people who stood up and fought for others freedoms.

I thank you all for reading.

Roy Woodhouse - Twitter

A feminist speaks - Todd Akin

Words cannot describe the sudden wave of emotion that engulfed the world when Todd Akin, want to be senator for Missouri, gave his advice to female victims of rape.

Todd is one of the true feminists of our time and his words will only make his wife and mother more proud of him. Mr Akin was talking on the subject of anti-abortion... not something to be broached after dinner... when one  journalist asked him the age old question of "what happens in case of a rape?"

The wise move here is - if you have nothing good or productive to say - shut your fucking mouth... however unlike me, Mr Akin did have some advice for all to share... 

"Well you know, people always want to try to make that as one of those things, well how do you, 

how do you slice this particularly tough sort of ethical question. First of all, from what I understand 

from doctors, that’s really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that 

whole thing down. But let’s assume that maybe that didn’t work or something. I think there should 

be some punishment, but the punishment ought to be on the rapist and not attacking the child."

It is clear to see that Todd and his reputable and educated doctors clearly have an insight on the female body that has been eluding the rest of us for years... It's good that he has such an 'understanding' of what happens but he does state that it's in the case of a 'legitimate rape'. What the fuck is an 'illegitamate rape'? Does this imply that anyone becoming pregnant after rape vetoed the legitimacy of the rape? He does go on to say  " let’s assume that maybe that didn't work or something" which shows that even in this sagely advice he has room for making a little error... or indeed completely moronic statements that have no place in the modern world... 

The fallout from this led his own party to distance themselves from him and The President to call for his head (not literally as I feel some wish) and for him to stand down... If I may Mr Obama - may a give a piece of advice. I know I am not as good at advice as Mr Akin, but I like to try... I feel that the damage to his election chances may have already been done... I feel that a far more constructive idea would be to go and speak to some feminist groups without the aid of any security and he can see just how well a woman's body can shut down after hearing this advice.. 

Roy Woodhouse - Twitter 

I predict a Pussy Riot

Just a few days ago three members of the punk rock group Pussy Riot were jailed for two years on account of their ad-hoc performance in a church in Russia of a song that was anti-Putin in content and according to the courts blasphemous in nature...

People around the world cried out at the injustice that had been served.... the lack of free-speech that was 'now' found on the streets of Russia. I even read a quote that said with this movement Russia is moving closer towards the totalitarian states of China and North Korea.

This is alarming news, for Russia has long been known for it's Netherlands-like tolerance and freedom of speech. Putin himself has welcomed peoples open honesty about his rule and even in the past Trotsky lived a long and happy life until his accident with an ice pick in Mexico City after his loss to Stalin.

The news encouraged me to head to Youtube and  listen to the Pussy Riot girls themselves... and after hearing the dulcet tones I can honestly say I'm not sure what all the fuss is about partially motivated by the fact that I have no knowledge of Russian and the lyrics sounded a little shouty, all be it with a real Sham 69 and 70's British Punk feel. This experience prompted me to ask two questions...

1) Is this what Rage Against the Machine (a band I hold very dear to me) sounds like to people from Russia who don't speak English or indeed any non-English speakers? Also is it what all 'modern' music sounds like to my father when he complains that it's just noise?... Has anyone considered this could be Putin's problem? I know for one my father would love to put some of the bands I listen to in jail for crimes against his ears.

2) At what point did people become surprised that this would happen? That these people, who decided to speak out against a man who had been in control in one way or another for the last 13 years, would not walk away from this easily.

When the verdict was given there were strong resentment among the crowd outside leading to several arrests  outside the court including that of Gary Kasparov - the ex-world chess champion. It is clear chess will also no longer be tolerated. In other news Moscow's council has decided to uphold a ban on the streets of the city prevented Gay Pride marches for taking place for the next 100 years, so this will be something to look forward to in 2113.

From all I can see Russia is not acting like China or North Korea... it is merely acting like Russia. People who choose to speak out are usually punished and censored. The sentences were indeed harsh but for some in the religious community it apparantly seemed too lenient. Freedom of speech has always come at a price and the three girls from Pussy Riot paid dearly for doing what the felt was right. Martyrs are created every day but it is up to those of us left free to carry on their message. I feel the judges felt they had avoided martyrdom by giving a more 'lenient' sentence of 2 years than that of the maximum 7 years... but you could see from the girls bitter smiles they knew what they had become... 

If you live in Russia at the moment perhaps you should avoid setting up a band, or speaking out or apparantly even being proud to be gay... oh and playing chess... these four seem very big taboos at the moment... on the other hand... Freedom of Speech comes at a price... but it also buys you something...

Roy Woodhouse - Twitter

  

Anti-Social Media!

As is written in the title we live in a world where people like Lady Gaga and Ricky Martin hold more appeal for the public than the leader of Buddhism... I don't think I can actually articulate just how fucking disappointed this makes me! I don't know why I care... I don't even know why I'm surprised... but then to be fair Ricky did have some pretty catchy tunes in the early 90s and when was the last time the Dalai Lama got to number one...

Ok... so Bill Hicks would probably turn in his grave but apart from crimes against my ears Ricky Martin hasn't actually done that much wrong... he makes shit tunes and collects money, kudos to him on the grounds that he never really has to consider taking a bollocks sales job to make the ends meet! In fact Ricky is nigh on my hero compared to some people on Twitter... or twatters as they should be known as!

I happened to stumble across the supportive words of Kenneth Tong who took it upon himself to make quips at the expense of the tragedy of Gary Barlows stillborn child Poppy. I make bad jokes, some too close to the wire that even I wince... but never would I delve to this level... I try and leave a little bit of soul in my jokes... or integrity... take what you will...

Men down the pub on a saturday evening wouldn't make these jokes... and the justiification... he wants to create a re-action and get famous again... cause he can't live without the fame levels of a Big Brother season 74 celebrity! The ironic thing is by scribbling this blog I'm helping him... so why is there no campaign for people to stop following and his number of followers are now nearing 180k?...

I have a funny suspicion that if Hitler were alive today he wouldn't bother writing Mein Kampf, no fuck it he'd just tweet his bile or how about instead of an ice pick through the head Trotsky and Stalin might have a twitter row... this fantastic platform allows two things... people to write more mundane shit I don't want to know and also allow dickheads to get famous... (please follow me on twitter) - we live in a world where people write their number of followers on their CV to impress new employers...

If the trend keeps going then pretty sure Mr Tong will soon have more followers than the Dalai Lama... why does this depress me? Because if you have a soul it should... please if have the time... follow the Dalai Lama... or Ricky Martin... they have equally interesting messages...

Breaking News: France Hates Britain

The media panicked a little when Silvio Berlusconi finally stepped down... "who will fill his clown sized shoes?!" they cried... Step forward Nicolas Sarkozy... In a week which saw Cameron tell the Sarkozy-Merkel coalition to stick it people finally started asking two important questions... "Did Cameron really do what he said he was going to do?!" and "I've got a hunch the French don't really like us, is this true?"

Of course... before I continue I would like to state that not everyone in France hates Britain... I'm pretty sure there are some Anglophiles among them and vice-versa with Francophiles living among us and in fact I have some very close French friends... but it really seems as though Monsieur Sarkozy has taken a dislike to our Premiere.

This turn of events that saw Cameron likened to a petulant child and Merkel seemingly begin to re-think her allegiance with a man destined to court controversy by declaring Britain was still an important member of the EU. Sure Cameron may have put a spanner in the works, but the German government has a history of thinking before acting in recent times, and while they may in secret be fuming, they have refused to be drawn into the slagging match that has ensued with the French government. In fact, if reports are true, Merkel called Cameron days later to discuss strategies. 

But what I don't get is the sudden sense of shock that washed across the British public and media at the fact that maybe, just maybe Sarkozy doesn't like us... that our impeccable  friendship over the years has suddenly been tarnished, that our greatest ally has suddenly declared a war of words on us. Oh and on a sub-note why do the BBC feel it so necessary to pronounce his name with such a forced French accent, especially when the name originates from Hungary.

In fact I can only think of one time in since 1066 that we've actually had a purple patch.  It seems that Guy Mollet, the French Prime minister during 1956 was a rather big Anglophile. France was experiencing hard times with Nasser privatising the Suez Canal and supporting the rebels in Algeria. After secret files were made available it seems, impressed by Britain's help during the World War and the combined effort to re-take the Suez, Mollet suggested the unthinkable and Sarkozy's worst nightmare - a union between Great Britain and France. Anthony Eden laughed this idea off, but the later suggestion of joining the Commonwealth where the Queen would be come the head of state was seriously entertained by both parties... but obviously it never went through and France ended up joining the EEC with Germany a year later while Eden refused to do anything but watch... a decision which still has repercussions to this day. 

Apart from this it seems we have never seen eye to eye with our cross channel neighbours - Cross English Channel may I say ;) ... So President Sarkozy doesn't like us (a man caught on tape calling the Israeli number 1 a liar)... The French finance minister said people would rather be French than English in a business sense at the moment and the French Prime Minister - Francois Fillon, while on a trip to Brasil, effectively said... France... why should we be downgraded?! Look at Britain... they are really poor... apparently he was misquoted.... but at the end of all this... I have to say this is nothing compared to history.

It is rare neighbours get on well in a country sense. There is usually a sense of bitterness... and the last 1000 years have been no different for Britain and France. We have done nothing but argue and fight... so why the fuck people are so shocked now is beyond me. They invaded us in 1066... then later we invaded them. Agincourt, Waterloo, Napoleon Vs Wellington, The Hundred Years War, The Seven Years war and when the American's finally declared their independence they only went and gave them a fucking statue. An iconic statue that stands on the gateway to New York that stands as a permanent reminder as to just how much the French didn't like what we stood for. There have been plenty more squabbles and wars, but they don't get on with us on the battlefield and they tend not to think the same way on Monarchy, Politics, Food and about everything that Britain has an opinion on... in short... we have not a lot in common, in fact it seems that in a cultural and political sense we are each others antithesis...

It seems that, as Hitler once tried to copy the 'achievements' of Napoleon, Sarkozy wants to emulate the controversy of Chirac. Ahhhh Jacque Chirac... a man who asked Tony Blair what Leo would think of Britain invading Iraq, a man who said you can't trust the Brits cause they cook badly, and slagged our beef off! Chirac had about as much time for Blair as Sarkozy has for Cameron, but in my opinion Sarkozy has a lot to learn ... Chirac was by far the better agitator... 

I think that we can draw two hopes from this blog... number one... that the maxim involving people - throwing stones - and glass houses is soon taken on... and that number two... that if Mr Sarkozy is replaced by the leader of the opposition - Francois Hollande, a man who wants to re-negotiate the treaty Sarkozy so wants to sign- that our two nations can start to find a few things in common and get along a bit better to work towards a better future. I just hope no-one mentions our cooking or their agricultural subsidies.

Written by @roywoodhouse

(please click on the link above and follow me on Twitter)

Britain - The Unfunny Lonely Island

Last week, in a move described by the omnipotent Boris Johnson as 'a blinder', David Cameron shocked the continent by walking away without signing the treaty aimed at saving the Euro. It was a turn of events that encouraged the ever tactful French Premiere to brand Cameron 'an obstinate kid', Nick Clegg, the man with the second most impressive job title in Parliament (I was going to say second most powerful job.... but that's just not true), fears Britain is in danger of being isolated and Boris Johnson got air time for something other than hiring bikes and tube strikes...

Before I begin it was nice to see Nick Clegg avoiding taking the Phil Neal approach to politics (that cultural snippet for those who don't know is a reference to the man described by some as turnip head and being declared Graham Taylor's, the England Managers, Yes Man). It was a moment that we waited for, the moment he found some balls and stopped being a Tory in disguise...  I mean it's over now and that's probably the last of it but was it worth the wait... core golly... NO...

Why the fuck was everyone so surprised? Cameron had been going on about 'if it's not in the interest of the city of London I won't sign it'... blah blah blah... we all knew it was coming, but we didn't think he had the balls to do it... and then pow.. the 'blinder' was played...

Well I mean it may be the end of Europe and the Euro but who gives a shit? Well me... and a lot of other people... Britain is the new unfunny lonely island, not to be confused with the comedic genius that is the troupe starring Andy Samberg that produced songs like 'Mother Lover' and 'I Just had Sex'.... So we are isolated, lonely and fucked.. that out of 27 nations only one disagreed.. apart from the Czech Republic, 25 left... oh wait Sweden says its not sure.. 24 .. and now Ireland?... Denmark?... In a stunning twist of events it turns out Britain didn't get what it wanted and walked away and 26 other people said yes... in theory... I would like to save the Euro... but not by fucking ourselves over..

It was nice to see that the Germans were confident of the plan not failing and proved that by apparently starting to reprint new Deutschmarks 'just in case'... and we left a party that didn't really want us there anyway... So the fallout... well most of Europe looks like it's going to get a credit downgrade which prompted the Banque de France governor Christian Noyer to say don't look at us... check out Britain... they're even more shit (roughly paraphrased) and the Euro is closer to being viewed like communism - a failed experiment. 

Now we have gone back in to try and propose a new deal to help save the Euro after talking with our new BFFs (Sweden, Czech Rep and Denmark), but really is it any of our business? We have a vested interest... but after rejecting to offer more money to the bailout fund I think we have made our position very clear... It's true that to eat the food you have to sit at the table .. but perhaps we should start looking for other dinner parties to attend who actually want us there... 

So how will it turn out? Fuck knows.. only time will tell... maybe Boris will be proven right or instead the actions, blinded by euro-skepticism, will send Britain into a worse position than before... maybe the Euro will collapse, maybe the EU will fail, maybe it wont and Britain has isolated itself and will be stopped from making any key decisions.. but for now we will just have to wait... and for the minute I think I'd prefer to watch a bit more Andy Samberg than 'oh shock... a politician did what he said for once'  

Written by @roywoodhouse

(please click on the link above and follow me on Twitter)

My Tram Experience

We all saw it... the YouTube upload by a guy/girl who secretly recorded some foul mouth racist bitches rant towards minorities in Britain... how she feels that 'Great' Britain should, as Chris Morris once suggested, have the great removed from it's name...

I watched that video and three things hit me.. number 1 - that poor fucking kid! Please will someone come in and take him away before he too sits on a tube and makes a similar rant (and how he better hope he too has a child in the form of a human shied)

The second point I thought was why the fuck didn't someone smack her! Everyone seemingly wanted to, the woman at the start who 'came to do her job cause she didn't want to' (probably not far from the truth), the second 'English' woman and the guy behind looked a little more than peeved. The only thing from this that can be taken as a positive was the powerful embrace behind the pin-up girl for Combat 18 which sees an inter-racial couple hug.

The third point is where the fuck did her opinions come from? This woman could barely fucking string a sentence together. Her lack of geographical knowledge would have made Jade Goody look well-traveled. The foul mouth bitch told the woman to fuck off back to 'Ni$$er-Africa" and I was left thinking was she just trying to be racist or so fucking thick that she couldn't think of a country, aimed for Nigeria and gave up... Unfortunately I think it is the former. I made a joke the other day that Dostoevsky once said "The level of society can be judged on it's racist pricks on a tram" (He sort of said that). But this is far more serious... 

People have asked me... was she drunk, on drugs? Who gives a shit!... it was obviously on her mind anyway.  But why? 

If people, including the government keep highlighting immigration as the main cause of the financial and economic worries that this country are facing then people will react. When you made public sector and benefit cuts... the people reacted in the form of riots.. when you tell them their very lives and ways of living are threatened by people coming to this country then you start to see a reaction. 

When I saw that video, I was ashamed. I was ashamed even though I have no similar feelings. But if you tell people something then they will start to believe it and I fear many more will start to believe this shit if they keep being told this... I would usually post the link to the video but I am too appalled to put this on my site. If you really want to see this bile then visit Youtube and type in My Tram Experience but before you watch this foul bile please know that not everyone feels this way... 

Written by @roywoodhouse

(please click on the link above and follow me on Twitter)

As Free as an Elephant Tethered With Rope

In certain parts of the world people keep elephants as working animals, either for moving trees or appeasing tourists. This is no more prevalent than in India. In some parts though they have developed a technique for keeping their elephants 'loyal'.

At night the Elephant is tethered to a small stick shoved in the ground by a thin rope. This majestic creature that could quite easily pull a tree down our crush a house does not try to move or run away. The problem is not physical but psychological - quite obviously even a squirrel could get away from this.

The problem (or solution depending on which angle you come from) lies in the elephants infancy - As a young calf it's tied to a concrete post or wall by a thick metal chain. The more the elephant struggles, the tighter the chain gets, cutting and digging into the baby calf's flesh. The more it pulls, the more it hurts. Eventually the calf stops struggling and accepts its fate. It stops trying to get away, to run, to be free. When the elephant becomes an adult - and remember an elephant never forgets - draws back to this intense pain and a simple rope will keep it in place.

When we are young we think we can achieve anything but life ties a metal chain around us and trains our mind to accept what we see... When we are finally old and strong enough to 'pull down trees' we stop fighting, we accept the chains are real and no longer struggle but none of it is real. Like Bill Hicks say's 'Life is Just a Ride' but if you truly believe there is a chain you will never be free...

Written by @roywoodhouse

(please click on my name and follow me on Twitter)

Sepp Blatter - AKA Teflon Man

In an un-startling revelation this week it seems a young man by the name of Sepp Blatter upset someone with his casual comments. This week he thought "I know, lets throw my weight into racism in football". No one in football has attracted such controversy since some guy made a sexist remark that women in football should  "wear tighter shorts and low cut shirts... to create a more female aesthetic" to attract more male fans (that guy was Blatter), or that idiot said  "I would say they [gay fans] should refrain from any sexual activities" regarding the illegality of homosexuality in the World Cup Finals country of Qatar... This idiot was also Mr Blatter...


I'm not going to go on referencing the words of the Swiss Sensation but his Wikepedia page reads like a fucking comedic sensation! But the question remains... why the fuck is he still in charge of FIFA? It seems that the media reaction in England was stronger in comparison to many of our European counterparts but still even Gary 'Not sure which Manchester club I work for" Cook had enough sense, or pressure to quit after his alleged gaff in which he made fun of a woman died of cancer.


But still Mr Blatter marches on and it leads me to make the conclusion that he is in fact made of Teflon. NOTHING STICKS TO HIM!!! A week on and it's almost forgotten. Only one other man in my mind had this much survival technique ... Mr Silvio Berlusconi! It seems the the maxim about the only thing to survive a nuclear war would be cockroaches should be edited and now read "The only thing to survive a nuclear war would be cockroaches, Paul McCartney and Berle and Blatts careers"


Finally in a week where the Italian Stallion himself stands down we can only hope that Blatter follows suit and walks away... but fat fucking chance... Blatter will be there to the end making more casual controversies than the Duke of Edinburgh... 


Is it co-incidence that they both have a vested interest in football, the both have the same initials (Yeah I know Blatters is a G but he prefers the youthful name Sepp) and they were both born in 1936? (a very popular year for racism in Europe) Yes it's a coincidence but please keep copying each other and Blatter go have a bunga-bunga party somewhere no-one knows about or just please please please retire... 

Written by @roywoodhouse

(please click on my name and follow me on Twitter)

Britain... Europe Divides us all

Let me set the scene... It's a classy restaurant in West London, the lights are dim and a British couple prepare for the arrival of a luxurious meal when suddenly a taste abomination arrives - it is cooked OK, maybe a little cool but the taste is repulsive, it may be a little crusty as well... the waiter arrives:

                Waiter: Excuse me sir, madam, is everything is alright with your meal?

                Man: Oh (he coughs and looks around nervously) Everything is fine, thank you.

Now what happens is the British couple finish the food and head for the exit thanking the staff once again as they leave with forced smiles... only as soon as they exit to complain at great lengths and make a vow never to return... the irony of this cliche is they might have just had a bad example, that given the chance the restaurant could have made amends and shown the couple what they really could have gained from their dining experience.

Now lets turn the cliche into a crude metaphor where the restaurant becomes Europe and the couple become Britain. We have not complained for long enough or bothered to get involved in the politics strongly enough to make a difference... in short we trade with Europe, have an opinion and sit firmly on the fence... and the result: Germany and France get stronger... and Britain loses any chance of a seat at the table... When Tony Blair went for the first European Presidents position did the backing of Germany and France for a more neutral candidate not thwart his efforts? 

Now we sit there and makes comments and suggestions as to how to run the Eurozone. We are not involved and have no right to comment (mind you it's not the first time we have interfered in someone else's affairs). Yes we can comment on the IMF, Europe, the EU but not the Eurozone... and what was the response... Sarkozy tells Cameron to shut up. He is apparently sick of his interference and as far as I can tell he has a point... 

So our premier is challenged... and how do we back him... well his own party decide to stage what in all essence looks like a vote of no confidence... 83 people demand a referendum that will never happen... Britain sits there weakened as she enters for new rounds of who's going to bail out who... 

The issue is Europe is changing and we are growing distant... Germany and France a few days ago sparked after demanding Italy reduce it's debt the Italians demanded an emergency session where nothing was decided... and how did the British Media react.. by saying Berlusconi 'actually' attended... but what will Italy do? While Italy's debt accounts for 120% of their GDP they have no choice... they cannot pull out of Europe - it will cripple them as it would Britain. They will accept any demands the EU makes in the end... 

Herman Van Rompuy (the EU President if you've never heard of him) has declared there will be an "Economic Government" to control the finances of the members of the Eurozone... and while some people are declaring the rise of the German Fourth Reich (Reich refers to a great age and this time is through finance over bombs or swords) that will dominate the economies of Europe my only question I have is if we ceased putting as much money into the development of other countries and bailing out others would Britain still be seen as such an important member... The way we go on about how we deserve to be at the top table feels painfully close to our delusions of Grandeur in Football (Germany, Italy and France have all won far more major titles both Continentally and Internationally) but hey we do have the latest golden generation since the last tournament.

And what are Britain's options? Not a lot - it's no coincidence we 'went into Europe' around the same time as  our Empire was being dismantled... the truth is we need the common market. So we should be getting more involved, and demanding more from the EU... looking at what options we can take that benefits Britain as Cameron said when he declared Europe thinks we are pussy cats and not the proud lions we claim to be (A Richard the Lionheart reference who, although our king, ironically did not speak English and hated Britain)... instead we sit there and rather than tackle the issue head on, we complain and moan at home about the raw deal we are getting and get to listen to crude metaphors of cats from Politicians.

Written by @roywoodhouse

(please click on my name and follow me on Twitter)

Credit Crunch: A Recession Inducing Buzz Word

Fact: A recession happened...

But what the hell seemed to go off... well in lamens terms it seems that someone said there was such an amount of money in the world... and they lied...

But where did it start...

I would suggest that the person who invented the term credit crunch touched on a source of pure power... A credit crunch quite simply became a self-fulfilling prophecy... so thanks for that...

I remember hearing people saying... oh no I can't buy that - there's a credit crunch... I was stood behind some people at a cash point who said "I'm only taking out a tenner - credit crunch mate!" And what a snazzy term it is, sort of roles of the tongue... the alliteration really setting it off.... it's almost like it's designed to get in our heads and without us even question, make us fear it....

People who had no debt, no mortgage and no loans heard the term credit crunch and how they did tremble... so what happened... everybody whether they had debts or not stopped spending... they reined in the money like there was no tomorrow. Well the businesses started losing money and sooner or later cuts had to be made and people started having to go... People stopped being able to pay money to the banks, and well the little old banks who had given so much bad debt out in the first place to people who couldn't afford it started to panic and before long people and banks and businesses were fucked cause everybody panicked and everybody wanted to keep their little bit of gold... cause if they didn't there would be no tomorrow...

Well let me break a little news - ... if the financial structure of the world collapse tonight ... we would still wake up tomorrow... the world would not end, it would just be a little different. The US government has a plan in place in the event of a Nuclear war to allow it to still collect taxes... but if there was no money, no finances and no debt there could be no taxes....

Now  this is all a very simple version of the events... and it did not hit everywhere... we only have to look to Brazil... unlike us (Great Britain) who lowered our VAT rate... 17.5% to 15% and now it's back to... oh no wait it's 20% which is like 2.5% more than it was instead of less... I wonder when that will go back...

Well in Brazil they lowered the taxes on everything from cars to fridges and houses and the public went crazy... they spent their money and the economy kept turning and no-one panicked... The recession barely hit Brazil... The banks kept steady lending... the people bought things and jobs stayed as available as ever...it wasn't just Brazil but is there any correlation between this and the fact that the best google translate has to offer as a translation of Credit Crunch is Crise de Credito... (hardly as snazzy)- Probably not but maybe with a little education, support and some real enticing benefits we might not be quite as fucked.