Eating Foods High in Saturated Fats are Healthy According to Supermarket

On one of my trips to Ireland I found myself, as happens roughly three times a day on average, being a little hungry...

I have always just grabbed what I fancied, but I was feeling a little under the weather so I decided to buy something that was good for me.. I was starving... I needed something.... I went to the nearest supermarket and made my way to the healthy living aisle... and there I saw my dream come true...

The Healthly Living section was crammed with Pies, rolls and Pastries... where had I been going wrong all these years? I mean fruit is such a waste of time it turns out... So i stocked up on as many pies and pastries as I could and didn't even wait till I left the store... and you know what .. I haven't looked back since... literally... I can't move... all these healthy foods have made me put on so much muscle...

Well the doctor says I need to cut down on all these healthy foods... but what does he know? He's not a shelf stacker... Super Markets are always right...

So after three coronary scares I just want to say thank you ... I mean without your healthy living food I might not have just cheated death... I might actually be dead...

(Please in all seriousness... sack the wanker that stacked these shelves)

Written by @roywoodhouse

(please click on my name and follow me on Twitter)

Pure Water is a Plenty in England

The other day I was a little parched... I needed some cool refreshing water... I decided to head to my local water source or office water tower as it's known... and you know what they say about the water cooler... it is indeed where you get fresh chilled water..

My thirst was about to be relieved... the water ebbing it's way towards my dry mouth... when my eyes cast down and noticed the picture on the water...

Clearly from the looks of that fish/creature thing this water is indeed the purist and cleaninst of water... in no way does that fish look distressed or even mutated... It was clear that this water was from the waters around Sellafield Nuclear Power plant.. cause nothing cleanses the water like Nuclear waste...

Well I drank from the cup and quenched my thirst safe in the knowledge that this was indeed the purist English Water money could buy...

The Doctor told me the next week that the seven extra fingers that have appeared on my shoulder are nothing to do with this water..