Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Why do we use bins?

The other day I was in Sao Paulo, Brasil in the Japanese town known as Liberdades... (it's a fucking awesome place if you ever get the chance to visit). I happened to be enjoying Sir Alex Ferguson's favourite past time of chewing some gum when as typical these days it suddenly lost all its flavour and I felt like I was chewing some particularly foul tasting cardboard... when is someone going to finally Willy Wonka some of that into eternal flavoured gum? Possibly never on the grounds that if something doesn't break or last forever working perfectly well then no consumer is ever going to buy any others... welcome to capitalism 101.

So with my mouth tasting somewhat akin (I imagine) to a goats arse I decided to chuck the offending article. I removed the piece of shit cardboard tasting material from my mouth (sorry to anyone of a more sensitive disposition for the brutal imagery) and proceeded to wrap it in a piece of scrap paper that I located in my right hand pocket. With shit tasting thing in hand I began to scour the street for a bin and to my dismay there were none on the same side of the road as me. Luckily I spied one across the way and crossed the road (which can be rather hazardous in Brasil, especially when you consider the traffic comes from the opposite direction to which I'm used to) to place the thing in the bin.

I then recrossed the road and to my amazement the man who was selling some strawberries on the street started to laugh in a manner that could only be certified as a guffaw. Now at this point I need to confirm that my Portuguese is not up to the level where I can have some banter with a man selling strawberries and can certainly not have taken him apart in a debate. He then informed as to the source of the amusement - the fact I bothered to cross the road to use a bin when I can just throw it on the ground like anyone else. At this point I wanted to maybe I don't want to take advice from a man who sells fruit for a living or maybe just maybe I don't want to live in a world that is a rubbish tip. Instead I smiled at him and gave him a condescending nod.

He then went on to expand his sagely advice that by throwing it on the ground you were creating a job for someone... There was so much that if this cretin had spoken English I would have demolished him - however the language barrier stopped me from even bothering enter into conversation. The problem here is not this guy, it's the fact that some people actually think like this. Do they not realise that the state employ people to collect litter and also others to clean the road and by throwing in on the ground you are merely making it look shitter and this thing we call an environment head further towards a rubbish tip? Once again these opinions lead only to the conclusion that a lack of decent free education for the entire world will probably end up being the end of us all...

As for me... I think maybe it's time we let the Dolphins have a crack at being in charge... I don't think they could possibly fuck up what's left of this planet any more than we already have... I mean I would sooner vote for Flipper any day over George Bush or David Cameron, solely down to the fact that Flipper talks more sense when he/she shrills. Maybe it's better that we leave a more intelligent species in charge for a while.

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