Friday, 5 November 2010

Curious Questions... #1 - Pitball Terrors

The Pitbull Terrier - possibly the most feared dog on the planet and usually found on the end of a leash held by an equally detested member of society who would not look out of place in a Shane Meadows movie.

I was talking to a colleague of mine who at one time was savaged on her leg by one of these miniture cerberuses. The thing that makes the attacks so frightful is that they have a tendancy to lock their jaws and shake violently until said appendage they have grasped comes off...

Now there is a rumour going round of what to do in such an occurance and after informing my colleage she concurred she had heard the same... apparently to force these little monsters to unclasp their jaw and release their vice like grip you must simply insert your finger into the animals rectum...
What fucking idiot tried this? Who was the first person who thought - hang on, I've got an idea! They must be in the same league as the first person who decided to piss on someone who had just suffered a jellyfish sting! Why would you do this?! Where is the logic while being shaken violently and the impending doom of bleeding to death? Instead of gauging the eyes or trying to prise open the jaws they anally intruded the dog with their finger... I would like to see someone try the same with a great white shark mid attack or even a patricularly angry boss.

The other question is does this actually work? Is it in fact an ellaborate practical joke to make this experience that little bit worse as the victim also has faeces on their index finger? I want to know quite simply has anyone tried this or is it just someone trying to take the piss/shit?

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